Is a lie still a sin if it’s told entirely out of love?
Is a lie still a sin if it’s told entirely out of love?
Most of you here know me as @rubenjr, sharing my thoughts on life, work, and everything in between. But long before I ever became a blogger, I took on a role that required a completely different, much heavier kind of storytelling.
I had to face that question for the first time when my wife and I welcomed our first child. That feels like a lifetime ago now. Today, we are blessed with three graceful daughters and a wonderful son. But truth be told, before we had children, we never could have imagined a life built on so many gentle untruths.
I still remember the nights I had to put on a smile and pretend everything was perfectly fine, just so my children could live unbothered, peaceful lives. As a parent, you learn to lie about the simplest things to protect their innocence.
I remember the times when we didn't have much to put on the table. My wife and I would sit there, stomachs empty, pretending we had already eaten just so our children could have a bigger share. We smiled through the hunger because seeing them full was its own kind of feast.
My 3 daughters; and my niece (the one with dark yellow dress)
And even now, looking back, I don’t regret a single lie. Every look we traded, every "I'm fine" through exhaustion was all born out of pure, fierce love. I have learned that no matter how much a family lacks, parents will always find a way to make their children feel whole. In doing that, I know in my heart I have given everything to be the best father I could be.
I may be a strict father. I rule by principle, and I hold my ground because I know that parents see a horizon their children can't quite see yet. I have protected them fiercely. Truthfully, I’ve always found it hard to trust outsiders even close friends, with their safety. They are my ultimate responsibility. Being their shield and their safe harbor is what gives my life true meaning.
I love being a father, even with all the grueling hard work it demands. But lately, as I look at them growing into mature, responsible adults, a bittersweet feeling catches in me. I can't shake the realization of how fast time slips through our fingers. Sooner or later, they will build their own lives and start their own families. I will be incredibly happy for them when that day comes, knowing I did my part. But a piece of my heart will always miss the days when they needed my protection.
They say that the first man to love a princess is never the prince, but the king. The time will inevitably come when my children marry people who will love them wholeheartedly. But nothing can ever erase the fact that the very first man to love my daughters and my son was me. It is a sacred cycle.
To all the parents reading this: I see you, and I respect you deeply, no matter what your journey looks like. Being a parent is beautiful, but it is never easy. It is a lifelong project of pouring your soul into another human being, and the silent struggles we carry are no joke.
Keep pouring, keep protecting, and keep loving. It is always worth it.
I love you, father @rubenjr.