Mend the heart

I believe that everyone goes through different processes in life at different times. I think it's easy to feel like we're dying of love in our youth, but not so much when we're older. On the other hand, it's easier to live stressed as adults, but not so much when we're young. Youthful stress is surely related to studies, socialization problems, or beauty concerns.

To be honest, I've never had problems with heartbreak. The people I've loved or love have given me, or still give me, love in abundance. In that sense, I feel very fortunate. The romantic relationships I've had haven't worked out for other reasons, but not for lack of love. In fact, I currently maintain a wonderful relationship with my former boyfriends, and I think it will always be that way.

However, there have been times when I've felt my heart shatter into a thousand pieces. The death of my loved ones has left me with a feeling of abandonment and emptiness, as if I were a house about to collapse. Death has destroyed my life three times, leaving me exposed and vulnerable. With this feeling of sadness and grief, I am clumsy, withdrawn, melancholic, and gray. It's as if all the colors have been extinguished, as if I myself flipped a light switch and were left in complete darkness.

In this state, I am the kind of person who cries, who screams, who talks to myself, who asks God why. I can sleep all day, stay home like a homeless person, not eat (both good and bad emotions take away my appetite), lock myself in my room. Often I write to vent, I listen to music to cry, and I also watch sad movies for the same purpose. I disconnect from the world, I don't want to see or talk to anyone: I withdraw to lick my wounds and heal my heart.

But with stress, it's the complete opposite. When I'm stressed, I like to leave the house, hang out with my friends, have fun, and forget my worries. I usually listen to music, dance, watch funny videos, go to the beach, have a beer, walk barefoot, or sleep. I try to see problems in perspective: whether I can solve them or not, whether they have a solution. Maybe it's my personality—I'm a Sagittarius—but whenever I say I'm not going to stress, I simply go into "airplane mode" and block out all interference.

I live in Venezuela, a country with a huge crisis where services fail constantly, but I try not to let these ongoing problems affect my mood, my spirit, or my peace of mind. I've learned to breathe and count to 100 or even 200 if necessary. Also, when the power or the internet goes out, I shout a swear word to get rid of my anger and indignation, then I stay calm, lest I have a heart attack and die like the querrequerre die: of rage.

The first image was made in Canva and the others are from my personal gallery. The text was translated with Deepl

Thank you for your support, reading, and comment. Until next time, friend. Regards