Steven Hawking's genius can not be described. Also, everyone knows that he suffers from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (Lu Gerig's disease) and that besides the bad prognoses associated with this disease, Hoking still lives and works. The film “The Theory of Everything” focuses on Hawking's relationship with the ex-wife, Jane, who at least partly contributes to his persistence in the fight against handicapping, as well as for professional success. Perhaps this story helps us understand better or at least ask ourselves-how does terminal illness affect love, marriage and family?

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From the very beginning it's clear that Hawking and Jane are two opposites. He is an atheist, a physicist, obsessed with the universe, while she is extremely religious, a poet and literature fan. When the first symptoms appear and when he is told about the diagnosis, Hawking falls into depression and isolates himself from close people. Jane is the one who urges him to get up and fight, promising to stay with him those two years of his life (how much was thought he would live). Soon after, they got married, got the first child, and Jane fully assumed the role of caregiver. Shefeeds him, dresses him and takes care of professional visits and work.

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Lu Gerig's disease gradually disrupted Hawking's motoring, verbal and non-verbal communication, which inevitably led to a change marriage relationships. On the other hand, his mental state remained preserved as well as sexual functioning. It is precisely the possibility of maintaining a sexual relationship that is of paramount importance to spouses who go through terminal and chronic illness, because it is this kind of intimacy that is the only way to maintain marital roles, to feel normal in a completely altered everyday life. The negative impact of the disease certainly further reduced the good quality of the relationship they had before the symptoms escalated. During dinner with the leader of the Church Choir, Jonathan, it is obvious that both Jane and Hawking have managed to maintain humor that normalize the situation and overcome diversity.

But sometimes it's not enough. Many saw the anger over Jane when she apparently fell in love with Jonathan. Still, the sense of burden and depression, which he himself did not have too much understanding, gradually increased. One problem is that Jane was going through alone with these difficulties, without the support of the social surroundings, because Hawking did not want others to interfere. Even his parents were not of much use. Jane was on a number of occasions crying secretly and unsuccessfully tried to share the burden with Hawking. As his responsibilities accumulate, while he persistently endeavors to provide him with the best possible care, Jane becomes exhausted, frightened, under great stress, which others do not notice. Hawking received recognition for his work, achieved fame and became recognized as a physicist, while Jane sacrificed her career. Hawking's insensitivity and misunderstanding made them go away. Also, it has become increasingly difficult to reconcile the role of a mistress and a woman with the role of caregiver. It is therefore not surprising that Jane feels attracted to Jonathan who understands and helps her with children and everyday responsibilities. They found themselves in a love triangle and she repressed her feelings and stayed with Hawking, although he supported adultery:

I understand you need help. And if there is ... someone ... who is ready to give it to you, I will not object, as long as... as long as you continue to love me.

Interestingly, the cause of the divorce was not Jonathan, but nurse Elaine, whom Jane hired to take care of Hawking, when he lost the power of speech. Elaine seems like a strong woman, at first glance enchanted by Hawking's mind and wit. She wisely takes Jane's responsibilities until she no longer needed him. Pretty unexpectedly, Hoking one night tells Jane that he is going to America without her, but with Elaine. For the first time, Jane explains that she loved him, and it did not work out although she tried. And most importantly, she expected her marriage to last for two years. A sentence that sounds cruel, but sincere, and needs to be understood in the context of their situation, where it was inevitable that at least with silent fear and grief,she feels some contempt for enormous obligations and sacrifice. They divorce and they both enter into a new marriage, but they remain friends.

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The film was made according to Jane's autobiography, but Hoking stated that it fairly faithfully conveys everything through what they have gone through. Elaine does not play a major role, although we know that Hawking's second marriage ended in a divorce, with speculations that he had experienced psychological and physical abuse (which he denies). Following the difficult and painful story of Jane's and Hawking's love that did not survive, we can conclude that this was a harmonious and successful marriage, without which he might not be what he is today.

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Thanks for reading!

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