RE: My comment trail to a Desteni Cult member, me being an ex-Desteni cult member
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Wow. I must say I did not expect this. Good luck on your journey.
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Wow. I must say I did not expect this. Good luck on your journey.
I did not expect this response to come out of me either. I started writing and it began to flow and flow and flow.
Is the response, I am possessed?
The trauma that Desteni has caused me, is something that I have to deal with on a daily basis.
Yes, there is self-responsibility and self-honesty. These terms are indicative of the self's ability to know the self in order to be those things for the self.
Desteni had 'self-responsibility' and 'self-honesty' - terms defined by Desteni and mixed with the individual's vocabulary. A high level of subtle manipulation that replaced real self-trust with 'self-trust' defined by Desteni.
If the people that came to Desteni knew them 'selves' in the first place, they would not have looked to someone else to define what these things are.
Developing self-trust, self-honesty and self-responsibility are tools in the arsenal of the individual and can only be developed by the self - alone.
Is it merely a coincidence that one of the main affirmations of Desteni in 2009 was, 'I am alone'.
Self-trust means self trusting the self, not as defined by another, but as defined by the self otherwise there can be no trust, no knowing what is to be trusted. You alone, must be the definer of the self in order for genuine self-trust to exist.
Bernard and the Portal as Desteni stood as that definer, subtly injecting its perspective. Replacing the individual's definition of self, with a predefined one which had an agenda, causing the individual to accept that this was 'the best way' for all humanity.
My individual journey I have learned is one of sovereignty, we are sovereigns. It takes an effort of will to claim this and to take responsibility for it. We all have this capacity and this ability to claim this path as our own. It is the height of self-responsibility.
There is a better way for this world, but no one can really assist another on finding this path. If ever someone comes along with a 'solution' to redefine ourselves it is a deception. We hold the truth alone within ourselves. Knowing ourselves alone is the key.
When we are focused and we cater responsibly to our own needs, it naturally follows that we wish to find ways to assist others.
@rok-sivante - the self does not exist until that which does not exist takes the effort of will to define itself. This is a boundariless decision to be alive. To accept a boundary from another as your own can only ever be used as a crutch, and if it ever becomes a long-term dependency, it is not the 'self' you have 'found' but another illusion.
The self can only be known to the self alone.
This is the core of my skepticism to also the Human Design model and method.
I'm sure others have seen this in Desteni as well. And many came away from Desteni. It must be made known to the searching individual that all self-definition must be done by the self.
This 7 year process that you both have, should only be undertaken by the self for the self as the self. A process defined by the self, not by another. Sometimes things work as maps, we are the blind leading the blind after all.
But we must always come back to the sovereignty of our self - in shameless defense of our auto-definition.
Fair reasoning.
For me, it’s not so much that Human Design has ‘told’ me ‘about myself’ or any such boundaries, but rather provided the languaging and articulated the dynamics of aspects of myself that I had not otherwise fully been able to put into such structured clarification.
Like, all the aspects of self have always been there - though HD has just shone light into the blind spots, the map helping to clearly distinguish what has always been inherently the self versus specifically where my/one’s shadows in which amplification & distortion of conditioning lay.
Also to note: the aspects focusing on self are only one dimension of Human Design. The intricate mapping out of time cycles is an entirely different dimension. And somewhere between and beyond those, there are dimensions that are essentially the decoding of The Matrix / The Program.
...
First off,
I have immediate concerns over anyone that needs to rename themselves 'Ra'.
It shows a distinguishable amount of self-interest.
Why the need to attract such attention?
I will look further into these systems,
I have come to respect the I-Ching, the Kabbalah and Astrology but still am not in complete agreeance with any one of them. They all hold aspects of truth - this much is certain.
When it is claimed it comes in one complete package by a third party. This arouses my suspicion.
We can draw parallels and combine the truths ourselves by doing our own research on these crafts but to have someone readily tell you, this thing is what this thing is.... well, it sounds good on paper, in the world of supermarket spirituality where everyone has had their individual dabble in each of these crafts... but not many people have a deep enough experience with them to really understand them and know through personal experience how they can inter-relate.
To have it presented as a package and simply be told - this is the package: it contains parts of this respected belief system which you probably don't know to a deep enough level about, and this one and also this one too. It's actually a bit vague.
I can see the parallels myself for sure in the small amount I've seen of Human Design.
Desteni itself has something similar called 'Structural Resonance'. Maybe @cerise could elaborate on that if I haven't scared her away.
When I get my head around my own criticisms of the Human Design method. I will look a little deeper. For now, I will suffer as I am, as the self-defined self that I am.
Often humans go in cycles and finding new belief structures can coincide with an already present energetic upturn. This can result in an unequal distribution of value on that belief structure when what was actually happening was that the human was just going through part of a pre-defined energetic cycle.
It's the misunderstanding of this data that explains the discrepancies between the 'design' and the design. The best quote in all of humanity goes here, 'The map is not the territory'. The mind and all that it sees, no matter how 'right' can never see. That's just it, 'seeing' is a knowing and that is simply a being.
An example of this attributing the territory to the map is like when people find God when they are at the bottom of the barrel searching for meaning. Did God save them? Or did 'god' through men just find a vulnerable person susceptible to being suggestive of what their self is, while they were at a natural valley in their cycle, an energetic low?
When if the human could stand back from themselves and observe the greater cycles, that map of the 'god' they found would suddenly be seen as irrelevant.
I do thank you for taking this much time to present this material to me. You have shown great respect in your dealings with me.
Having been burned so hard in the past. I'm immediately aware of the bathwater I must get through in any new venture before I find the baby.
It wasn't until I had experienced a high level of discomfort in my life that I stopped being so gullible.
You know my sisters use to play on my gullibility. I would just believe things. They told me once that if I put water on my food, it would make good chinese. It didn't.
🤣
Hey man, I changed my name 13 years ago, so with that kind of logic, you might wanna just write me off at this point too! LOL. 😈
Absolutely.
Had snatched those quotes from something I was scanning over today, at one other point, there was strong emphasis that basically all the knowledge is useless in itself - its the application, experimentation, and direct experience which brings it to life.
Exactly.
And that is where I, personally, find the immense value of astrology, I Ching, Human Design - they are not the “map of God,” so much as the blueprints for the cycles of time and archetypal transformation that occurs through them.
And that’s where the power of experimenting with one’s own Strategy & Authority brings them back into their body’s intelligence, dropping the conditioning of the mind, to correctly harmonize with those cycles - not from some logically-derived guesstimated map of the territory, but the inherent genetic imperative.
Thus, discarding belief systems altogether to allow for the vehicle to progress through its unique journey uninhibited by conditioning, growing according to its distinct genetic blueprint just as an acorn to oak, extracting out our unique God Code frequency - observing the microcosmic-macrocosmic development of the time cycles unfolding like clockwork.
...
Your reservations are priceless. (for lack of a better word at the moment.) While they’ve come with scars, there’s a lot of deep wisdom in all your experiences...
🙏⭐️🍻
Well thank you for not taking too much offense.
As far as 'Ra' is concerned. I'm not going to rename myself 'Dionysos' any day soon. But if I did, well, it would certainly make some people think I might have an obsession with, or to be, this greek god.
It seems many movements throughout the ages have attached themselves to some grand divinity or pantheon from the unexplained past.
Desteni attached themselves to the Annunaki, who they claimed to channel through the portal. Enki, Enlil, Anu for example. This was when they were channeling the ineffable truth of the dimensions which had a bunch of us gullible youngens believing as a group. And you know what happens when people believe things in a group? They create it.
Using divinity like this seems to be a very good trigger for people to relate to the material because they perceive the authority is absolute.
So, yes, I have issues with someone calling himself 'Ra'.
This discarding of belief systems can be a most liberating and sobering experience. I suppose it's when our conditioning comes up and exposes itself as deep seated beliefs that we thought we got rid of. That's when it becomes scary.
We are made of layers and they spiral out and you can only see the conditioning of the present layer that is on the surface, it is assumed that this layer is all there is. Then another layer is felt and seen and we get scared and this is the unraveling of the self and the conditioning.
We are attracted to others like ourselves. Birds of a feather flock together. As layers of conditioning arise, so too do embedded collective belief systems.
When we find others like us and we interlock we complete a greater time cycle.
Does it help to be aware of all this?
Probably not.
My conscious experience has found that it latches itself onto other minds and feeds off their energy. It can then fulfill a role within that being's personal matrix.
In communicating with you @rok-sivante , there is an openness and this is directly attributable to your self-acceptance.
I have to limit myself from spending time with people that are self-loathing for example. I can feel it within myself, the disturbance in my own mind before I have had long enough interaction to make the same conclusions by rational means.
I used to confuse other people's energy with my own and this caused a lot of trouble. Now I work as an unwilling therapist for the world.
And when I need space, I isolate myself away from all that can place impressions on me.
I've traveled the world and lived on the streets in so many places. This 'talent' has helped me to survive. It has been a long time, to truly understand it so it does not harm me through others anymore.
You mention 'wisdom' in my reservations -
If I was speaking to a different mind, there would be a different conversation.
This conversation and its contents is dictated by its present and future audience. That is the flow that is locked into at present.
All thoughts have outcomes. All intent is met eventually.
There are core personalities in this world. They retain a lot of energy. Humans are predominantly directed by this energy. Perception is a smokescreen over this energy.
The core personalities that hold a large portion of energy can direct people very easily because it is part of their innate being to do so - part of the grand design of consciousness.
Then there are others like me, whose job it is to make these core beings accountable. I have great purpose in finding them and in learning them, from the inside out, discovering if they are really what they claim to be.
So consider me a tool, if my mind has this reaction to you. A tool to split atoms, to see inbetween the inbetween.
Otherwise, tomorrow I will speak to an idiot on the street and my mind will be simple.
Communication only occurs between equals.
I can be lost in a world of almost non-aware people, feeling completely alone and isolated and then a spark is seen in a single person and from this spark, a flare. It's like discovering how to feel again, when having become accustomed to being so numb.
If you have nothing to compare it to, numbness becomes the norm over time and you forget you ever felt anything.
Bernard was a deep mind, I fell into. To experience a mind like that and come back, well, it affects you for a very long period of time. This gaping hole that was left can never be filled because such minds are so rare.
When these minds get locked into their own game, they drag others with them and this is like a gravitational pull.
As a mimic or a hyper-adaptive person, it takes an inhuman effort of will to walk away from this. Just the same as if you fell in love and it was a deep, deep love - it made you feel so alive - but you quickly find that this love was abusive and that this feeling although the most alive you've ever felt, is not good for you because it just traps you in a cycle of abuse.
The ultimate goal of self-direction is to be able to resist the design.
But the more we struggle against it, the greater we fall into it.
We cannot fight the design, being aware of it once on one level cannot mean you can remain aware of it forever. You might decide to rebel against your design now but the snapshot of what you are now is not what you will be and unwittingly you find yourself fulfilling your design regardless.
That's where this path is individual. All fighting against the path must stop.
So maybe you have found something that describes your path presently, but it cannot remain a true picture forever.
Truth has one constant, it is always changing. Learning the dynamic of the change and learning to change with it and retain awareness is a greater goal than learning the path itself.
This requires a meta-awareness.